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Kaoru...

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Feb. 24th, 2007 | 10:24 am
mood: sad sad

I'm really stressed out right now. I'm fluctuating between moments of dullness to moments of overwhelming emotion and tears. We had to take Kaoru to the vet yesterday because on Thursday he was in really bad condition. For the first time since he was diagnosed with Feline Lower Urinary Tract Disease, something was blocking his bladder. They've told me that the tests they've done so far have not came back very good. He has some kidney damage, and he still won't eat even though he's getting better. There's a pretty good chance he will pull through it all, but there's also a chance he becomes blocked again. They won't have results on what exactly is causing the blocking for a few more days. If he becomes blocked again, the vet has told me they may have to euthanize him unless they send him to the emergency clinic (which will cost anywhere from $500 - $800). His bill is already $400 at the current vet. It's really hard to accept, but I guess over time since he started having this problem I've began to accept it more and more that his days are probably numbered. I can't imagine things without him. And what's even more frustrating is that I have a double today and tomorrow. That's frustrating because if they have to euthanize him because he's in too much pain, then I won't even get to see him and say goodbye. Why is this happening to him? He's like the sweetest cat in the world. I feel like it's my fault for not taking better care of him.... or for even keeping him all to myself instead of finding him a GOOD home 5 yeas ago. It already feels weird not having him around for two whole days. And with a $400 bill whether he dies or not, I have no choice but to work. But it's been really hard to smile while I'm there. I'm not good at handling losses.... I don't want to lose him. I have to start getting ready for work, and thinking about all this is getting me too worked up anyways.

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Comments {8}

From: brndn
Date: Feb. 24th, 2007 06:27 pm (UTC)
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aw.. i'm sorry about your feline friend. hope he makes it through. he'll be in my thoughts.

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Haley

From: haleyismiaka
Date: Feb. 26th, 2007 04:45 am (UTC)
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I'll have a better idea of his condition on Tuesday. They're hoping to release him then.

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From: aneternalenigma
Date: Feb. 25th, 2007 09:54 am (UTC)
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That blows. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for me when the grizzled veteran Stimpy has to leave.

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Haley

From: haleyismiaka
Date: Feb. 26th, 2007 04:44 am (UTC)
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I hope you're not faced with that anytime soon. :C I'd miss Stimpy myself! But Kaoru was to be taken off all medical equipment today to see how he does on his own. The doc said she'd call me if there were any complications. Since I haven't gotten a call, I'm hoping he's doing all right so far. <:/

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*~ Science Patrol: Officer 001 ~*

From: rockstar_no_koi
Date: Feb. 25th, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry to hear that Haley. It's not your fault, you loved that cat more than most people would love their pets or any other human for that matter. Like the person above me said, you gave him a wonderful home and a wonderful life. *hugs* if you need to talk, you know where to find me.

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Haley

From: haleyismiaka
Date: Feb. 26th, 2007 04:43 am (UTC)
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I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well. ._. They were going to call me today if Kaoru got worse today, and since I haven't gotten a call, I hope I'm good to assume he's doing all right. ::hugs:: I'm also here for you if you need to talk about your pa. Why won't there be a funeral? :(

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*~ Science Patrol: Officer 001 ~*

From: rockstar_no_koi
Date: Feb. 26th, 2007 07:30 pm (UTC)
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I hope he is alright. I know how it feels to lose a pet. And I know how close you are to your cat. *hugs* thanks for what you said about my grandfather. There won't be a funeral because he said in his will he doesn't want to be an expense x.x I don't know. It sucks.

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Haley

From: haleyismiaka
Date: Feb. 27th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
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He seems so selfless and humble. :C I'm really sorry. My grandpa is in really bad condition too, and I'd feel terrible if something happened to him. I try to see him as much as I can, but they live so far away. It sucks that you didn't get see him before he went.

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